How to Talk to Your Teen If You’re Concerned About Their Relationship
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, which is a great a time to start having conversations with your teen about healthy relationships and looking out for signs of potential harm. As a parent or caregiver, you may notice changes in your teen’s mood, behavior, or social life that raise concerns about their relationship. Approaching this conversation with care, support, and understanding can make a huge difference in their safety and well-being. Keep reading to learn more about why this topic is so important and tips for starting the dialogue.
Why This Conversation Matters
Teen dating violence affects 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S. (according to Love Is Respect). Many teens aren’t able to recognize unhealthy relationship patterns, and even if they do, they may feel unsure about seeking help. By opening the door to honest discussions, you can help them feel supported and empowered.
Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Their Relationship
1. Choose the Right Time and Place
Avoid bringing up concerns in the heat of the moment or during an argument. Instead, pick a time when you both feel calm, such as during a car ride, a walk, or a casual meal.
2. Start with Curiosity, Not Accusation
Your teen is more likely to open up if they don’t feel judged. Instead of saying, “I don’t like your partner,” try:
“How do you feel when you’re with your partner?”
“What do you think makes a healthy relationship?”
“Have there been times when you felt uncomfortable or pressured?”
3. Validate Their Feelings and Avoid Criticism
If your teen shares something concerning, listen without immediately reacting. If you say “You need to break up with them,” they might shut down or become defensive. Instead, try:
“I hear you. It sounds like you care about them, but I also see that you’re feeling stressed. Can we talk about that?”
4. Talk About Healthy vs. Unhealthy Behaviors
Many teens mistake controlling behaviors for love. Let them know that a healthy relationship includes:
✅ Respect for boundaries
✅ Open, honest communication
✅ Feeling safe and supported
A healthy relationship doesn’t include:
❌ Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
❌ Pressure to do things they’re uncomfortable with
❌ Isolation from friends or family
5. Offer Support and Resources
Make sure your teen knows they can come to you without fear of punishment. You can also share that confidential resources are available, such as:
📞 Love Is Respect (Text “LOVEIS” to 22522)
📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233)
6. Know When to Step In
If you believe your teen is in an unsafe or abusive relationship, don’t hesitate to seek help from a school counselor, therapist, or hotline. Remind them that love should never hurt. If you ever have immediate concerns for their safety, call 9-1-1.
Final Thoughts
Having this conversation isn’t always easy, and it might be awkward or uncomfortable, but it is necessary. Your teen might not open up right away, but letting them know you’re there without judgment can be life-changing (or even life-saving).
This February, let’s commit to raising awareness and helping our teens build safe, healthy relationships. If you or your teen need extra support, or if you think they would benefit from talking to someone, Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC specializes in adolescent mental health and is here to help. We also have multiple teen therapy groups where teens can connect with their peers who are going through similar struggles. Contact us today for a free 15-minute intake call to learn more!
