When It’s More Than Just Being “Shy”: Recognizing & Helping Teens with Anxiety and/or Social Skills Deficits
Navigating social interactions can feel overwhelming for many teens, especially when they are first starting to form and maintain social connections on their own; however, for some teens, struggling socially might be due to more than just a shy personality. Keep reading to learn more about the differences between social anxiety and social skills deficits*, which can look very similar from the outside, as well as effective strategies for improving both.
What Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected in social situations. Teens with social anxiety often experience:
Excessive worry before, during, and after social interactions
Physical symptoms like sweating, nausea, or a racing heart
Avoidance of social situations due to fear of embarrassment
Overanalyzing past conversations for perceived mistakes
The key factor in social anxiety is fear—fear of negative evaluation, fear of saying the wrong thing, or fear of simply being in the spotlight. This fear can make even well-developed social skills difficult to use.
What Are Social Skills Deficits?
Social skills deficits, on the other hand, refer to difficulties in understanding and applying appropriate social behaviors. This isn’t about fear but rather a lack of experience, knowledge, or ability to navigate social nuances. Signs of social skills deficits in teens include:
Difficulty starting or maintaining conversations
Trouble understanding body language, tone, or social cues
Struggles with turn-taking or interrupting too frequently
Using an inappropriate level of formality or familiarity in different settings
While social anxiety stems from emotional distress, social skills deficits are more about learning gaps. Some teens may not have had opportunities to develop these skills due to upbringing, neurodivergence (such as ADHD or autism), or limited social experiences.
Can a Teen Have Both?
Absolutely. Some teens experience social anxiety because they recognize their social skills deficits and fear making mistakes. Others develop deficits due to prolonged avoidance of social situations caused by anxiety. The two can feed into each other, making social interactions even more challenging.
How to Tell the Difference
If you're unsure whether your teen is dealing with social anxiety, social skills deficits, or both, consider these questions:
Do they know what to say in social situations but feel too nervous to say it? (Likely social anxiety)
Do they struggle to read social cues or structure conversations appropriately? (Likely social skills deficits)
Do they avoid social interactions due to fear of embarrassment, even when they know how to navigate them? (Likely social anxiety)
Do they want to engage socially but feel like they don't know how? (Likely social skills deficits)
How Social Skills Groups Can Help
While one-on-one therapy can help with both social anxiety and social skills deficits in an individualized way, Social Skills Groups are arguably Social Skills Groups even more helpful for these issues, especially in teens. Social skills groups offer individuals the opportunity to learn and practice the skills to help them succeed in various social situations while also providing the comfort and support that comes with feeling like they aren’t alone. Practicing conversations, role-playing scenarios, and receiving direct feedback can help build up skills, while exposure and processing can help to build confidence and reduce fear.
At Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy, our Teen Social Skills Groups are designed specifically to help teens develop confidence in social interactions. Through guided activities, peer engagement, and professional support, we provide a safe and structured space to practice and improve social skills. If your teen struggles with social anxiety, social skills deficits, or both, one of our groups could be a great fit for them.
Final Thoughts
Whether it’s social anxiety, social skills deficits, or both, the good news is that improvement is possible. Understanding the root cause of your teen’s struggles can help them take the right steps toward feeling more confident and connected in social settings.
Interested in learning more about our Social Skills Groups? Contact us today to find out how we can support your teen in building lifelong social confidence!
*In this post, we use the term “social skills deficits” to describe challenges some individuals may experience in social interactions. We want to emphasize that this is not meant to pathologize or frame these difficulties in a negative light. Everyone has different strengths and areas for growth, and social skills—like any other skill—can be learned and developed over time. Our goal is to offer insight and support, not to label or stigmatize.
